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  • 雨枫轩原创文学网 - 纯净的绿色文学家园 !

    雨枫轩

    我的爱情丢了

    时间:2019-09-10来源:网友提供 作者:石勇 点击:
    我的爱情丢了
     
      2015年春节过后,我收到了一封读者来信。信是一个29岁的女青年写的,她是一个在外企工作的职业女性。
     
      在信中,她详述了自己多年来寻找真爱,并在父母的逼婚和舆论的压力下相亲近20次的“血泪史”。
     
      她说,她曾经是一个对爱情抱有美好幻想的人,谈过一次认真的恋爱,无果而终,深感受伤。此后,她发现找到一个条件合适的、可以爱的人非常困难。大家几乎都是先从社会经济地位和身高外貌等条件去过滤、筛选对方,而在符合条件开始谈的时候,或是她因为没感觉而淘汰对方,或是对方把她淘汰。
     
      随着岁月的流逝,她也跨入大龄行列,父母、社会舆论施加给她的压力骤然增大,好像不结婚,就是什么罪过,就对不起谁一样。为解除压力,也为了尝试着看能不能找到爱情,她多次相亲,结果却相当令她失望,甚至让她感到恶心:大家赤裸裸地在交易,“和牲口买卖没有区别”。
     
      29岁了,也算“阅人无数”,却发现爱情这种必需品,其实是难以奢望的奢侈品。但随便找个人结婚,过一种没有爱情的生活,让自己这辈子就这样留下遗憾,同时可能也会埋下隐患,她现在还做不到,其中的焦虑、挣扎、痛苦,甚至让她失眠。她问我:“这个社会,是不是把爱情丢了?我就只能注定无爱地过一生吗?”
     
    爱情是一个人对另一个人存在的治疗
      这位城市中产女性对爱情的发问,让我想到了精神分析大师弗洛姆说过的一句话:“没有爱,是因为我们没有爱的能力。”
     
      在弗洛姆眼中,如果一个人生活在缺乏某些品质的文化环境里,想要具备爱的能力非常困难。
     
      所以我给她的回答是:在今天,当然是有爱情存在的,而且可以期待,但它只属于那些能抵抗污染,或可以把影响到自己爱的能力的毒素排出去的心灵。必须承认的是,我们自身和社会文化中的某些东西,已经让我们在爱情上自我下套,以致找不到,或体验不到爱情了。
     
      我愿意描述三种爱情理论。
     
      一种是“大街上找人理论”。
     
      任何一个男人或女人,在存在的意义上,和世界是分裂的,从而有一种无法消除的“存在性焦虑”。他们需要消除这种分裂状态,和世界重新融合。
     
      “大街上找人理论”的内容是:每一个男人来到这个世界上,总有一个女人是为他而来的,对于女人同样如此。从踏上这个世界开始,男人和女人便开始互相寻找。但他们对于对方只有朦胧而模糊的印象,并不准确地知道对方是谁。同时,他可能要找的是某一个,但属于这一类型的人实在很多。因此,就像在大街上找人一样,有可能会找错人。这会导致以下几种情况出现:
     
      A.发现自己找错了人,然后继续寻找。也许可以找到真正的归宿,也许永远都找不到。有的人最后放弃,随便找一个,但有的人一生都在路上。B.认为自己没有找错人。但他(或她)会发现,自己找的不过是自己喜欢的类型中的某一个,而并不是自己真要找的那一个。C.随便找一个,就这样算了,根本不去想什么爱情。D.两个相互寻找的人终于幸运地会合。
     
      在这里,D属于爱情,理想的爱情。
     
      第二种爱情理论,是“一路人理论”。
     
      我们都知道,有传说中的“灵魂伴侣”,这属于高境界的爱情。但也有境界可能不那么高的爱情,比如精神上较为契合的,“三观”比较一致,有共同语言的,性格上很互补且心灵上比较默契的,这些也属于爱情的范畴。大家能够感觉到,这一生大家是一路人。
     
      还有一种爱情理论,就是“凑合理论”。
     
      在这个世界上,有人寻找到了爱情,而有的人没有寻找到,他们即使结婚,也不是爱的结合,而是“凑合”。换句话说,他们解决情感和婚姻问题,更多的不是因为存在的需要,而是社会需要和生物学需要。对这个,相亲达人们最有发言权,尤其是给我写信的那位中产女性,有更深切的感受。
     
    我们找不到存在感,只能去刷存在感
      问题在于,为什么爱情丢了,或找不到?为什么在当下中国,很多人居然不敢去奢望爱情了?我们的文化环境真的让爱情难以存在或存活吗?
     
      好像是的。
     
      弗洛姆曾经讲到现代人有两种不同的生存方式,一种是“存在式”的生存方式,另一种是“占有式”的生存方式。它们的意思分别是:你到底是以你的存在、你的心灵去体验某种东西,让你的心灵对世界开放,从中体验到你的存在,还是以占有的方式去体验,把一切,包括自身都变成心理上的占有物,通过占有来强调你的存在感?
     
      如果我们的生存方式是“占有式”的,那么我们对爱情婚姻,大概也是把对方视为一种是否可以让自己在物质上或心理上增值的财产。对方于你而言,仍然不是一种可以和自己的存在融为一体的存在,而是通过在心理上占有对方,刷出自己的存在感。比如,男人在朋友面前显示“我女朋友漂亮”的优越感,女人在闺密面前玩“我男朋友多有钱”的心理竞争,就是如此。
     
      于是,爱情和婚姻便异化为一种交易,像弗洛姆所说的,大家在爱情婚姻市场里根据权力、容貌、职业、收入、学历、社会地位,现在是否成功,以及未来是否有成功的可能性等来讨价还价。如果双方都能接受对方的出价,那就“成交”。遍布于中国广大城乡的相亲市场上,玩的就是这个游戏。
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