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  • 雨枫轩原创文学网 - 纯净的绿色文学家园 !

    雨枫轩

    认识自己

    时间:2019-09-29来源:网友提供 作者:孟书子 点击:
    认识自己

     
       听闻麻省理工学院某中国籍学生自杀的消息时,我正在公交车站无聊地翻着手机。曼哈顿的灯光已经开始照耀在这个全世界最神奇城市的每一个角落,这是纽约最平凡不过的一个夜晚。
     
      这个28岁的中国女孩2001年移居美国,获得电机工程学学士学位后曾经在华尔街工作,2011年进入麻省理工学院知名的Sloan商学院就读。如果一切顺利的话,她明年就毕业了。她在遗书中声嘶力竭地向活着的人哭诉:“除了中文,我觉得我没有任何优势。”
     
      在美国的大学生活刚开始的时候,我也曾和她一样,想要意气风发地冲刺华尔街,梦想在全世界的金融中心叱咤风云。麻省理工Sloan商学院的网站,到现在还在执着地给我的邮箱留言做广告。大二结束的时候,我也曾和她一样,精疲力竭,觉得前途黯淡。她说,这是一个弱肉强食的世界,面对比自己优秀百倍的同学,她已经没有能立足的东西。
     
      三四年前的我对此会再同意不过。可是她错了,我曾经也错了。也许这是一个弱肉强食的世界,但吃掉我们的不是这个世界,而是我们自己。
     
    “宝贝你真聪明”
    ——伴随一生的魔咒
      从小我最常听到的一句话就是“这是个才女,聪明得很”。如果说“聪明”二字在我的小学,甚至中学年华是良好的祝愿,到了我出国,它摇身一变,变成了甩都甩不掉的魔咒。当今的发展心理学在谈及教育小孩的时候,也非常忌讳这两个字。全中国的家长都希望自己的孩子成绩斐然,可是这个目标遮挡了家长们的视野,也给孩子的内心施加了无谓的压力。我的妈妈是一个很有智慧的女人,但是她良好的心愿也会造成适得其反的效果。小的时候,妈妈为了让我自信一些,她告诉我我是个聪明的孩子。她热切的眼神二十多年来从来没有变过。小时候,妈妈借助钓鱼游戏教我认字,看到我迷恋《还珠格格》,她就鼓励我读清朝历史。后来我迷上了英国魔幻小说《哈利·波特》,她就走遍当时并不发达的本地书店,最后从首都淘来最新版的书。在大陆还没有中文译本的时候,我已经拥有了台湾版的第一本《哈利·波特》。我对《哈利·波特》的迷恋让我发现了该书中文版译文生硬,妈妈便鼓励我去读英文版本。“聪明”这两个字在小学的时候让我自信无比,我坚信我可以做到别人做不到的事。成功的早教的确让我在上小学的时候游刃有余。初中一年级时,我家搬到了大连。第一次期中考试我只考了年级第188名,我顿时哭成了泪人。后面的几次考试,上了发条的我一口气冲到了年级19名。幸福随着第二次搬家再一次烟消云散。我考进了北京四中,然后我的成绩就又垫底了。好在四中很人性化,从来没有公开过我那惨淡的排名,都是发给我一张张的小纸条。我又开始咬牙奋战,到了第二年,我又排在了年级前20名。
     
      但是这个故事,其实很悲伤。它并不是对奋斗的讴歌。
     
      从一开始,我的所有动力都来源于:我很聪明,我应该比别人厉害才对。但是这个逻辑,一定会在强手如云的世界里漏洞百出。美国,就是我的第一个滑铁卢。
     
    比不过别人就是世界末吗
      如果说,在中国万千高考大军过独木桥的时候,我都一直是个站在聪明者队伍里的幸运儿,那么来美国念书的最初两年,我幸运地倒下了。杜克大学是全美排名第8的学校,原始森林环绕着哥特式建筑。那本来应该是一个青春女孩的天堂。然而,不一样的语言,金发碧眼、活力四射的美国同学,和各个国家高中的尖子生,组成了我的炼狱。思想因为语言的不熟练憋在肚子里倒不出来,文化差异大,学不过别人,连玩也玩不过。慢慢地,我的心理压力让我开始怀疑出国的决定是否正确。
     
      这是我们的教育带给我们的印记。从教育的开始就被注入了竞争的思想,在一轮轮激烈的竞争中,我们对自己的定义变成了一个个数字。在教育的过程中,我们逐渐失去了定义自己的机会。孩童对聪明的理解,和对天才的理解差不多:“聪明的人总是不费吹灰之力便能解决任何难题,天才是不用付出太多努力的。天才一旦用功便会有超出常人的飞速进步。”
     
      如果说,在当今中国教育的道路上,被排名、被卷入竞争不可避免的话,那么家长能做的便是引导孩子,让孩子具有正确的归因能力:归因于事而不是归因于人。告诉他做事要坚持,做人要负责任,告诉他除了自己没有人能够定义他。别人的夸赞和批评,到底是对事还是对人,这种差别对孩子的心理建设极为重要。
     
      20世纪90年代,斯坦福大学著名心理学家 Carol Dweck的研究表明:从小被夸奖聪明的孩子,在成长过程中会表现出强烈的与他人竞争的意识。同时,他们也更容易在面对困难的时候不接受任何挑战。原因是孩子们害怕失败后别人会怀疑他们不聪明。选择不尝试可以给自己留一条退路。而从小接受“对事不对人”夸奖的孩子,会对自己的进步更感兴趣,同时也更容易挑战自己。这些孩子的承受能力更强,情绪也不会轻易受到影响。
     
      夸孩子聪明,就是在告诉孩子成功的原因是他的本人特质。每当孩子做好了一件事,“聪明”这种夸奖让孩子自动将结果归因于自己本人的天生特质,而不是他对这一件事的理解、努力程度和坚持程度,即所谓“对人不对事”。而当我们对孩子说“你真棒,这件事做得真好”的时候,孩子理解到的是大人对这件事的赞扬。给孩子贴上“聪明”“愚笨”等标签会让孩子忽略他后天的努力和一件事本身的特性。当“聪明”的孩子比不过别人的时候,孩子会立刻将结果归因于自己本身:“比不过别人,我就不再聪明了。如果我不聪明了,那我是谁呢?”
     
    了解自己,才能了解世界
      2012年,我正处于人生的低谷,也处于思维的高地。充满了挫败感的学习生涯,混乱不堪的人生规划,加之浮夸冷漠的社交圈,激发了我的求生本能。我开始反思自己,寻找问题的根源。当时还在念经济专业的我,一口气选修了两三门心理学课。不好意思去看心理医生,就只好挽起袖子自己来了。
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