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  • 雨枫轩原创文学网 - 纯净的绿色文学家园 !

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    天生聪明,还是越来越有才

    时间:2019-10-05来源:网友提供 作者:游识猷 点击:
    天生聪明,还是越来越有才

     
       德威克在一群小学生身上发现了某种区别。其时她正在做“如何应对失败”的研究,在实验方案中,她先给孩子们一些特别难的字谜,然后观察他们的反应。她事先设想,孩子们有两种可能的反应:一,拒绝面对失败,沮丧地丢开字谜,或者假装对字谜不感兴趣;二,坦然承认失败,冷静接受自己解不出字谜的现实。
     
      但有些孩子竟然有第三种反应——他们兴高采烈地做着这些解不开的难题。一个孩子快活地说:“太棒了,我喜欢挑战!”另一个则满头大汗但不掩愉悦:“猜字谜能让我增长见识!”
     
      德威克随即意识到,这个世界上确实有些人能从失败中汲取动力。他们的特殊之处在于他们持有的信念——“成功和才能,是在挑战中因努力而获得的。”这种心态,就是“成长型心态”。
     
      与之相对,相信“才能是天生具备的一种相对固定的特质”,这种心态,就是“固定型心态”。
     
      两类人同样面对解不开的字谜,固定型心态者会这么想:“我解不开这道题,莫非是因为我不够聪明?我天生的智力达不到解题所需的水平?不,我是聪明的!现在只是有些别的因素影响了我而已。我最好别求助,也不要提问,以免其他人误认为我不聪明。总之,如果我没有真正去努力解题,那么即使我做不出,我也有‘不感兴趣’这个理由,来说服其他人。”
     
      而成长型心态者会这么想:“哎,我解不开这道题,这真挺难的,我努力一下肯定能从中学到不少!我正好练些新的解题方法。还不成?有意思。我还可以试试求助,在老师或者擅长解题的朋友的帮助下,我肯定能变得更聪明!总之,世上最糟糕的事,就是明明有个渴望的目标,却没有尽力尝试就放弃,白白错失了让自己变得更好的机会!”
     
      对固定型心态者来说,“遇到挫折需要努力”等同于“缺乏才能”,又等同于“我真失败”。对成长型心态者来说,“遇到挫折需要努力”则等同于“我正在努力中变得更好”。
     
      不难想象,不论是在事业、运动还是艺术上,两种人在逆境中会做出截然不同的选择。固定型心态甚至会影响人的感情生活。当你坚信“我基本不变”“伴侣也基本不变”时,“寻找正确的人”就变得无比重要。固定型心态者会在和伴侣关系变差时,很快得出“遇到挫折说明我们不合适”的结论,然后迅速逃离。
     
      成长型心态者相信自己和伴侣的性格特质都有改变的潜力。改变需要一个人渴望改变、承诺改变,并将改变付诸行动。但很多时候,相信“有潜力改变”已决定了后续抉择。感情陷入低谷时,成长型心态者下的结论是“遇到挫折说明我们需要调整和成长”,对他们来说,矛盾是学习沟通的机遇,冲突是了解彼此的时机。
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